A six-session process in which you will connect with your authentic self. From there you will experience and develop a deeper connection with others.
Gaining autonomy is an art of life. The art of life is to gain so much autonomy that you stay connected within each chosen group or relationship without losing your individuality. This can be pretty difficult if there's been someone when you grew up who wasn't emotionally available, or who was inadmissible to you. Or if you felt you were not taken care of as a child, if you felt alone and helpless. Losing connection with our loved ones disturbs the sense of security. It disrupts the ability to acquire autonomy if there are experiences with this at a young age or even when you are an adult.
Many people find it important to cherish the child within themselves. This is cherishing the past and the fear of life in the present.
Being an adult means growing, discovering, exploring, realizing your potential and unbounded development. And also taking full responsibility for your actions. In this process we will look for the disturbance in your primeval panic. Where did you start to demand, cling, reassure, retreat, appeas. How do you say without words: '"Give me your attention; Stay with me, I need you or I won't let you hurt me. I want to recover and keep things under control."' We expose your veiled messages, your individuality, your desire for connection among these feelings and behaviors.
Living by your own rules as a child creates fear of death. We did not have any chance to survive in the old days if we did this. This is still registerd in our cells. In order to become an adult, a person must generally detach himself from the rules, norms and values of the family in which it was born. Each session we step closer to taking responsibility for your own life. Instead of making accusations, you learn to give up victimhood in a safe way. We investigate how you started to identify with your thoughts, ideas, emotions. We're going to let go of memories fondly.
We map key moments from then and now. When you feel substantially safe and connected to your partner or others, then such a key moment is something like a cold breeze on a sunny day. But if you're not so sure of that connection, that's the beginning of a negative downward spiral of uncertainty that cools the relationship.
Sometimes we withdraw from connection when a pain spot is hit. You recognize this because suddenly there is a radical change in the emotional tone of a conversation. At first there were jokes but all of the sudden one of you is upset or furious, or just distant and cool. You've been knocked out of balance. It's like the rules of the game have changed without you knowing.
We'll have a look, step by step, at what happens when something chafes against a pain spot. We're are usualy very vulable when it comes to love. At the same time, we desire to love and be loved so much. This requires emotional receptivity. The key to love for life. The word emotion comes from the Latin word emovere, moving. We say we feel moved by our emotions and we are moved as those we love show us their deepest feelings. In real connection, there is space to allow emotions to move to new ways of reacting to each other. Together we look at the functioning of your emotions in relation to the other person and to yourself. We're going to learn to take risks, show the soft side of yourself, confess fear of loss and isolation, and learn to talk about your desire for affection and connectedness.
Becoming who you are. That can be a challenge. Sometimes your individuality gets damaged. This can lead to blockages and even physical complaints.
We're going to put this into focus.
We bring this into view by working with symbols, guided meditations and puppets. In advance, you also look at how emotions work for you. For this you will receive handles from me.
Each session starts with different handles to let the previous session sink in. In addition, you will also receive assignments that prepare you for the upcoming session. How much time this takes is to be by determined by yourself. The intensity is different for everyone.
'I actually want to stay at home (your uniqueness talking), but my girlfriend needs me (your caring quality talking)'
Just another example that can make you loose your autonomy. An example from everyday life that prevents you from living the autonomous art of living. Two conflicted voices in your head that devide you.
In this session, we'll pay attention to how you let your maturity take control.
Finding connection with another soul gets tough when a different meaning is given to a fact. Often we lose ourselves in defending our position. We're looking for the crook. Who's the crook, who's right? This kills the connection with each other.
Tuning in creates a stronger connection. We do this by traveling together on the road of researching, entering into interaction. We do this by finding out what is really going on with feelings of (in)justice.
Based on concrete examples of recent situations, we will show how this works for you.
We'll investigate what your desires are based on. Is this connected to your individuality? Who is connected to your avoidance behavior? Dare you express your desires? Do you live by it?
Being yourself can be a tough road. Yet defining yourself is precisely what makes you whole and in connection.
How do you put yourself down? How do you show yourself? How do you acknowledge yourself? And also how do you pretend to be different from who you truely are? The process of becoming who you are is done together. By entering into dialogue with each other.
We often change our minds a few times before we honestly say what someone else's words do to us or have done in our deepest selves. When we reveal that, we feel extremely vulnerable. Also because we are afraid to hurt the other person, with all the nasty consequences for the relationship that entails. This often results in us concealing what has hit us or continues to hit us. Naming what has touched you deeply in or by the other is the most direct form of speaking. Revealing what lives within you can be a revelation to the other person, creating a deep connection forever. You will then find the relationship so valuable that you have the courage to discuss what else remains between you without the likelihood of the connection being blocked or disconnected. We will tune into a safe way for you to grow on this path.
We've been taking new steps in all sessions. Which ones did you take? Where do you experience closer, safer relationships? We will anchor this by doing a ritual.
We anchor the release of your social automatisms. We will celebrate ta new connecdness.
The ritual is based on the essence of what you have experienced during your proecess. The lessons you have learend. We release and celebrate. Let go of what is not serving you and embrace what makes you feel more connected.
Based on reliability and trust, we reveal how you deal with this.
We see each other every two weeks, for six sessions, which means you're going to be on this journey for 3 months. In advance we have a (free) intake of half an hour. The sessions then last 1 to 1.5 hours at a time.
In advance of each session, you will receive tools to capture the previous session and assignments in preparation for the next session. How much time you spend on that is up to you.
The cost of the journey is 300 euros that you pay in advance. Afterwards, you complete this based on Dana (go to: Rates to learn more about this).